Every little ache or pain I have, my mind begins to wonder – Is this THAT bad? Should I go see a doctor? I’m always nervous to go to a walk-in or the hospital because when new doctors find out about me, they run every test known to man. Here is a breakdown of my train of thought:
So a little bit of pain in my back is probably just a pulled muscle right? Hold on let me google it…. Ok the organ located in that area is the right kidney…. So is the pain from a muscle or is it my kidneys? Well I’m having no problems in the bathroom so it must just be my muscle….. But it is so close to my liver – maybe it’s just my body healing from the surgery….. Or it is the cancer that jumped from my liver to my kidney….. Ok I will just wait one more day and see if it gets worse.
Here’s another one that also happened this week:
Hmm, my seatbelt is rubbing on my incision site – that’s not comfortable…. Ok where it is has been rubbing for the past few days seems to be irritated – I’ll just hold the belt away from it…. So it’s been a week and the irritation has become larger and now even if my shirt floats by it, I feel like someone is sticking their finger in an open wound – I’ll leave it a few more days…. Hmm my shirt feels wet, oh that’s because it wasn’t swollen it was infected and filled with puss that has seemed to have popped open in the night…. Guess I’ll call the doctor – maybe I should have gone earlier?
I can’t run off to the doctor everytime I have an ache in my body – I would live at the hospital (even though I already feel like I do). However if I leave things and they are something serious, then I am just hurting myself and making things worse. I’m sure I am not the only crazy person out there.
Young. Female. Cancer. 
You are not. Welcome to crazytown. I have actually been completely forthcoming to my doctors about this. I have told them that I feel like a hypochondriac if I come to them with a concern. You know what one of my doctors told me? “Gail, you have to stop worrying. That’s my job, not yours. Let me do all the worrying for you”. My response? A deadpan look and I told him that it was MY body, MY brain, and that I would do the worrying for it. His job was to investigate all of my SANE, rational and empirical evidence based concerns. He told me that I was feisty!
Lol stay feisty!!! It’s the best 👍
We all go crazy, I make up my own theories about my gut and avoid and reject certain foods out of the first ridiculous suspicion. I know it very well, but I act like that and I follow my instinct like a religion. One day if I become healthy and normal, I will be cured. Knowing I’m acting crazy helps a bit, it’s like hearing the Angels telling you ridiculous stuff and knowing they don’t even exist… Let’s get well soon!
Thank you for hoping that for me – I hope that for you as well!!