Port Advocate

When I see the hospital calling I always assume the worst. For the first time in a long while, this call was only good news. Let me back track before I get into my conversation with Dr. Jay.

During my time in the hospital for my first two surgeries in 2014, I was a human pin cushion. I had IV lines coming out of every vein they could tap. My hand, wrist, and arm were all covered with lines that weren’t even hooked up to anything. They were all there “just in case” they were needed. On top of this, I was still bothered once a day by a nurse, who would poke at me to take my blood. Worse even still, were my constant arguments in the ICU over a picc line. (If you are not familiar with this term, it is a tube they insert and leave open in your veins, so they have direct access to your blood.) I would fight tooth and nail with every nurse that came in to inform me that they were going to put one in. “Why do you need to put one in, I have a PORT!” The first time my yelling worked and I was able to keep them away until I made it to the surgery ward. The second surgery, I was not as successful. I had three nurses hold my arms down, while a male doctor cut into different parts of my hand and arm trying to start the line. I was crying the whole time and begging them to stop. After trying in four different areas, they were nice enough to give me a break. (This sentence couldn’t be any more sarcastic.) An hour or so later a new nurse came in to let me know they were going to try again soon. I cried and said, “Please just explain something to me. What is the point of me having a Port-a-cath if it is not going to be used? The whole reason I had it implanted is so I wouldn’t have to get a picc line. This doesn’t make any sense!” She surprisingly agreed, and then proceeded to call off the picc line.

Side note: While driving the other day I thought about this moment, and I cried underneath my Raybans. I wish my memories in the hospital could all be erased.

From my weight gain in the winter of 2014, I developed a lot of extra fat on top of my port. This made it really tricky to access. So when it came time for my surgery in 2015, I did not bring it up.

When I met with Dr. Jay and Dr. Ko this year to discuss my May surgeries, I was quick to touch on this subject.

“Can I ask you guys something? Why the hell am I poked at everyday – which hurts by the way – when I have a bloody port? What the hell is the point of having this thing if every nurse I speak to, other than the ones in oncology, don’t know how to use it?”

“You’re right.”

WHHHAATTTTT!? This was the first and probably last time they will ever tell me I am right. Even though I have been right SO many times before, and will probably continue to be.

“It is a little tricky to explain why they are not trained to access it. However, I will make sure this time it is used.”

To my surprise, they kept their word. For both my surgeries in May, my port was used. I was administered all of my drugs through it, and all of my blood was taken from it. No more tube city!

Which brings us to today. Dr. Jay called and asked me if I wouldn’t mind speaking about all of this to a colleague of his in the hospital. Since I was such an advocate for myself during all of my hospital stays, it started a movement. Nurses are now starting to be trained on how to access ports. A woman is putting together a proposal for more funding, in order to be able to have the supplies and training needed, so all nurses will know how to use the port to their full advantage in the future. I obviously said yes right away. If I can help prevent future surgical patients from having to experience what I have been through, I am all for it!

I will also request to have it called “The Jamie Protocol”. Just kidding……… not really.

 

Power Port

Sounds like some sort of super hero. Power port to the rescue! – I think I’m still high from the meds. 

Last year during my first visit to the hospital I now call my second home – I was given a port-a-cath. This is not some sort of fancy alcohol, but a device that sits under my skin just below my throat. It gives my doctors and nurses direct access to my jugular vein. This comes in handy when you have chemo every two weeks. No digging in your arm looking for a good vein – I just get hooked right up to the cocktail with a quick stab (or two) of a needle in my chest. This port worked wonders for me for a long time, right up until I began putting on weight. The pocket under my chest wall they created was pushed further and further away from the surface, due to the amount of fat I was gaining. This then proved to be troublesome to every nurse who tried to access it. I also had the kid size version of the port, since I used to be a skinny gal. With my more curvy figure, I needed the upgrade to the larger port. When I received the news I would be on chemo from now until the end of my life, my oncologist thought this was the perfect time to upgrade me to the Power Port. 

What’s the difference? It has a larger area for the nurse to guide her needle into – so it is harder to miss. It also is able to be used for my CT scans for the contrast solution – which means less arm needles. Getting blood taken is easy – I’m talking about the needle they use with a catheter. They always seem to push and pull it around in my arm, that I usually end up dizzy and on the floor. 

Leading up to my day surgery I was calm. I arranged ahead of time with my doctors that I would like to be put to sleep for this procedure. Something that is not common for this surgery – but they remembered me from all my previous visits. No one wants a crier on the table with her arms waving about telling everyone to back off until she “gets the drugs”. 

I walked into the operating room, climbed up on the cold metal table, and started slowly panicking. The anesthesiologist was really sweet and told me a joke while he poked around at my hand. Stupid catheters. There I lay, staring up at the bright lights. The nurse came to put my oxygen mask on, and the tears started trickling down my face. This is my life now – I thought. How did I end up here? This surgical team knows me so well now they are joking around about having “whip and nae nae” play as part of the background music before they push the “sleepy” drugs into my system. 

I awoke in pain, but nothing that I couldn’t handle. Any surgery now is nothing compared to all my others. What was bothering me more however was my left eye. It felt like an eyelash fell it in. I was half drugged up still when I asked a nurse for a mirror to look at. He quickly let me know they didn’t have one. He probably thought it was just the drugs talking – so I don’t blame him. After about 45 minutes I was sent home – and my eye was still bothering me. No less than an hour later after being home, it got worse. The annoying feeling turned into pain and I could no longer keep my eye open. Off to emerg we went. Three hours later I was finally told that during my unconscious state I scratched my eye. Awesome. He sent me home with some gel and let me know it will take approximately three days to heal. Guess who had a sleepless night? They should give patients mittens until they are conscious enough to not stab their eyes out.